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In our interviews, we found that individuals who improved their external self-awareness did so by looking for out feedback from loving critics that is, people who have their finest interests in mind and are willing to tell them the reality. To guarantee they don't overreact or overcorrect based on one individual's viewpoint, they likewise gut-check difficult or surprising feedback with others.

After all, what better method to know ourselves than by reviewing why we are the way we are? One of the most unexpected findings of our research is that individuals who introspect are less self-aware and report worse job fulfillment and wellness. Other research study has revealed comparable patterns.

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To understand this, let's take a look at arguably the most typical introspective question: "Why?" We ask this when attempting to understand our emotions (Why do I like employee A so much more than worker B?), or our behavior (Why did I fly off the manage with that staff member?), or our attitudes (Why am I so against this deal?).

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As it turns out, "why" is a remarkably inadequate self-awareness concern. Research has revealed that we simply do not have access to a number of the unconscious thoughts, sensations, and intentions we're browsing for. And due to the fact that so much is trapped outside of our conscious awareness, we tend to develop answers that feel true but are typically incorrect.

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Subsequently, the issue with asking why isn't simply how wrong we are, but how confident we are that we are right. The human mind rarely runs in a reasonable style, and our judgments are hardly ever totally free from bias. We tend to catch whatever "insights" we find without questioning their validity or worth, we disregard inconsistent evidence, and we require our ideas to comply with our preliminary explanations.

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In our research study, we've found that individuals who are extremely introspective are likewise most likely to get captured in ruminative patterns. If a staff member who receives a bad performance review asks Why did I get such a bad ranking?, they're most likely to land on a description concentrated on their fears, shortcomings, or insecurities, rather than a rational assessment of their strengths and weak points.

Certainly, there was a clear pattern: Although the word "why" appeared less than 150 times, the word "what" appeared more than 1,000 times. For that reason, to increase efficient self-insight and reduce ineffective rumination, we should ask what, not why. "What" questions help us remain objective, future-focused, and empowered to act on our new insights.

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Rather of asking "Why did you state this about me?," Robin asked, "What are the actions I require to take in the future to do a much better job?" This assisted them transfer to solutions rather than focusing on the unproductive patterns of the past. Self-awareness isn't one reality. It's a delicate balance of two distinct, even competing, viewpoints.

At first, all he could ask himself was "Why wasn't I able to turn things around?" He rapidly recognized that he didn't have the time or energy to beat himself up he had to figure out what to do next. He began asking, "What do I require to do to progress in a way that decreases the effect to our consumers and employees?" He developed a plan, and was able to find creative ways to do as much helpful for others as possible while unwinding the business.

These qualitative findings have actually been bolstered by others' quantitative research. In one research study, psychologists J. Gregory Hixon and William Swann offered a group of undergrads negative feedback on a test of their "sociability, likability and interestingness." Some were provided time to think about why they were the sort of individual they were, while others were asked to consider what type of individual they were.

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Hixon and Swann's rather vibrant conclusion was that "Believing about why one is the method one is might be no better than not considering one's self at all." All of this brings us to conclude: Leaders who focus on structure both internal and external self-awareness, who look for honest feedback from caring critics, and who ask what rather of why can find out to see themselves more plainly and enjoy the lots of rewards that increased self-knowledge delivers.

That's one of the important things that makes the journey to self-awareness so amazing.